Reflections

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way.” Margaret Wheatley, writer

Jan 03, 2024

Happy New Year and welcome to my monthly Substack newsletter! I’m glad you’re here.

I always have mixed feelings about this time of year. Even in junior high, when asked about my New Years resolutions, “loosing weight,” topped my list each year. Amid playing sports, cheerleading and weighing in at 115 lbs at 5’6,” slimness seemed mandatory at my school and I was determined not to break that tradition. While my preoccupation with weight began in junior high, even as an adult, “loosing weight” always made it into my New Years resolutions. A decade ago, I pivoted towards a healthier and attainable goal like eating nutritiously and exercising daily. I always start out resolute but by the end of January, my consistency would dwindle.

This year, a revelation struck me. I truly never took time to reflect where I’ve been, where I’m at, and what I really aspire to achieve. This year, a member of my ILLOGUILD group, posed the questions: “What we liked about the year and what we wished we did better.”

At the outset of 2023, I found myself submitting my picture book manuscripts to agents, receiving responses ranging from, “lovely writing, but not the right fit,” to “thanks, not for me but perhaps another agent might just like it.” After receiving several of these responses, mentally I decided to pause my submissions and take a break. Amidst this, I kept a journal and cultivated drawing every day.

At least I thought I was sketching often back in 2022 and 2023 but a closer look revealed gaps and struggles to maintain that habit. One of the members in our critique group, Adam Ming, initiated a blog on building an art practice starting with just 10 minutes of daily sketching. I took it to heart this year.

(a sketch from my book dummy)

I also read the book, ATOMIC HABITS by James Clear and found it incredibly motivating. I even bought a copy for one of my sons starting out in a new career. One of the takeaways from Clear’s book that resonated deeply with me was, “When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy.” Now, I look at drawing as a daily habit and not somewhere to get to or end up. When I tell myself, “just do 10 minutes each day,” on most days I don’t want to stop. I’ve completed 90 days in a row without missing. It’s been difficult to see my own progress, and avoid getting bored but Clear addresses this in the book: “You have to fall in love with boredom.” I’ve compiled a list and theme of things I want to draw and experiment with, which I’ll be sharing in future newsletters. By adjusting my goals and mindset, I’ve overcome some of the negativity associated with setting goals, fizzling out and feeling discouraged after a month. One of the biggest setbacks when I set goals, was if I messed up, I would sabotage myself and beat myself up and it would take a week or so to get back on track. Patience is also on my list of new habits, but I’m taking it one day at a time.

(sketching from the roadtrip from Chicago to California)

In the spirit of reflection, I encourage you, dear Reader, to look back on your own year. What moments brought joy, and what aspects do you wish unfolded differently? Whether it’s in the pursuit of artistic endeavors or personal growth, let’s celebrate the victories and acknowledge the lessons. I would love to hear how you are trying something new or your goals for the new year.

The Creative Canvas by Noreen Anne

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